Beloved, if a man does not understand his own conversion, how will he be used of God to speak the word of God. The following is from http://www.scriptoriumdaily.com/2009/01/06/today-charles-spurgeon-was-converted-1850/. (The writers words in italics and mine in bold)
By one count, he told the story of his conversion 280 times in his published sermons, so some minor variations have slipped into the accounts. Here is my favorite:
I sometimes think I might have been in darkness and despair now, had it not been for the goodness of God in sending a snowstorm one Sunday morning, when I was going to a place of worship. (If God does not grant grace to accept the one true gospel, then our eyes shall not be opened. There is no thinking about it. It is true and sure.) When I could go no further, I turned down a court and came to a little Primitive Methodist Chapel. In that chapel there might be a dozen or fifteen people. The minister did not come that morning: snowed up, I suppose. A poor man, a shoemaker, a tailor, or something of that sort, went up into the pulpit to preach. He was obliged to stick to his text, for the simple reason that he had nothing else to say. The text was, ‘Look unto Me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth.’ He did not even pronounce the words rightly, but that did not matter. (Yes, somewhere in the conversion of a person there must be “according to the scriptures” (the Tanach). Most of the chosen ones have another man sent from God to preach the one true gospel to us, and yet, there are some, a few, that God Himself preaches the one true gospel, as Paul. If this is not known a person might very well reject the gospel preached to one as Paul by Yeshua Himself. The Spirit must declare the scriptures of the prophets, it must be the Spirit of God who zealously only testifies of Yeshua.
There was, I thought, a glimpse of hope for me in the text. He began thus: ‘My dear friends, this is a very simple text indeed. It says, “Look.” Now that does not take a deal of effort. It ain’t lifting your foot or your finger; it is just “look.” Well, a man need not go to college to learn to look. You may be the biggest fool, and yet you can look. A man need not be worth a thousand a year to look. Anyone can look; a child can look. But this is what the text says. Then it says, “Look unto Me.” ‘Ay,’ said he, in broad Essex, ‘many of ye are looking to yourselves. No use looking there. You’ll never find comfort in yourselves.’ Then the good man followed up his text in this way: ‘Look unto Me: I am sweating great drops of blood. Look unto Me; I am hanging on the Cross. Look: I am dead and buried. Look unto Me; I rise again. Look unto Me; I ascend; I am sitting at the Father’s right hand. O, look to Me! Look to Me!’ When he had got about that length, and managed to spin out ten minutes, he was at the length of his tether. (The Tanach, the Old Testament testifies of Yeshua. This is sure and true. Consider Yeshua in the scriptures of the prophets as the Spirit of the Father declared and it is fulfilled in Yeshua, Look unto me, Yeshua, and be ye saved, and all the ends of the earth, for I am God, and there is none else. And in the preaching of the one true gospel by the one Spirit of God the Mashiach is declared and all that awaits the person, is if God makes choice. Did God make choice concerning Spurgeon this day. By this record I cannot say. I would have to hear the man and discern the spirit of the man as I declare the one true gospel.
Then he looked at me under the gallery, and I daresay, with so few present, he knew me to be a stranger. He then said, ‘Young man, you look very miserable.’ Well, I did; but I had not been accustomed to have remarks made on my personal appearance from the pulpit before. However, it was a good blow struck. He continued: ‘And you will always be miserable — miserable in life and miserable in death — if you do not obey my text. But if you obey now, this moment, you will be saved.’ (I would have to ask were these words necessary to be spoken to Paul? Is the preaching of the gospel telling a man he is most miserable? No! All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and the words are only understood after grace is given to a man. It was not a unbeliever who wrote Romans 3 but Paul, a believer. The one true gospel is preached, and when a preacher is able to testify and exhort with many other words, men and women attach to this form of teaching by grace and the will of God, then he says “Save yourselves from this untoward generation”. The preacher declared the one true gospel, God gave grace to some, and then ones He gave grace to gladly received his words and were dipped in water in the name of Yeshua. The same day 3000 souls were added. All without calling them miserable sinners.
Then he shouted, as only a Primitive Methodist can, ‘Young man, look to Jesus Christ.’ There and then the cloud was gone, the darkness had rolled away, and that moment I saw the sun; and I could have risen that moment and sung with the most enthusiastic of them of the Precious Blood of Christ.”
In the midst of this event and the words spoken could God have granted grace to Spurgeon. Yes, he could. I knew a Jewish man who once was a brother, who God came to him in a dream and a vision and revealed a passage in Isaiah that is was concerning the Meshiach who is Yeshua of Nazareth. He was a teenager in a Jewish family and this one God had granted grace to accept the one true gospel. He was rejected by his family and walked in grace for a season. He has since rejected the one true gospel that brought grace to him.
Concerning Spurgeon though I am left with his preaching that followed after conversion. I am left with a proselyte exalted in the flesh and given the title of pastor at a young age:19. I am left with Spurgeon’s statement in particular, “Calvinism did not spring from Calvin. We believe that it sprang from the great Founder of all truth.” It was Spurgeon who held to a teaching (Calvinism) that God does not love all men. That Yeshua ha Mashiach did not die for all men. That God hates the vast majority of men. Even if he began in the Spirit, he finished in the flesh, and his works were burned up, and more so. For this is a true statement, “They went out from us, but they were not of us. For if they were of us, they would no doubt continue with us, but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us”, and in another place, “it would have been better for him to have never known the truth.”